Evaluating the change

It is the beginning of a new month. Things are a little brighter. I guess that I am getting used to the running up and down or perhaps it is just better because I have today off and I can consider the past weeks a success.
My hubby has transitioned into rehab care in quite a lovely facility. Everyone is older. The rehab is part of a seniors home. When you are already a senior, the residents are your peers. If you are 20 and with a 35 year old, the differences are so marked. At 68 and 85, the difference is less marked. Therefore, you can see yourself in decline rather than recovering. It is important to not get caught up in seeing yourself in this vision of aged and debilitated. It impedes recovery.
Last night I saw an elderly man freewheeling himself,( pushing himself with his feet in a wheel chair) hugging two teddy bears to his chest. He asked me if I was lost. I was. I got off on the wrong floor. I could eventually right myself. He never will.
There has been a lot of time for reflection, not in the way I am used to but in a life altering way. I wasn't ready for that a month ago. Now I am.

Putting together a reasonable quotient

Today was a wonderful day for staying home. Did I? Not at all. I spent a good portion of it on the road in my home town. It was great to be in Toronto. I wanted to stay. The crossroads of my life is coming to a head. I can feel it in the wind and rain.
The writing continues to fill my head, the prep is delicious, as if working the majick of scenarios helps to give voice to my own needs and wishes.
Ok, the cards are also wonderful. I want to help my friend to realize this goal. Her spirit cries out for expression. Mine needs to see everything of my life immortalized.
I move on.