Saturday, July 4, 2009

Accessing friendship as a great resource

It has been such a hectic week. Change always seems to make everything bigger, harder, more complex. I suppose fatigue does the same but at least with change there is hope.
This week has been spent thinking about the wonderful ways in which friends support us. I once had the greatest friend in the world. She has passed on to summerland, as I like to call the after life. She taught me the real meaning of friendship. Even in death she has managed to draw on her energies to connect people. I thank her for returning a former friend to me. She is one of the few who can share stories of days past.
I am thankful for the friends I have now who worry about me coping with the change. I have learned to accept their support and know that I don't have to be the one to provide help.
My beautiful clematis are on the bloom. Someone commented that the purple ones look like neon. They are so bright and shiny. I love clematis. It is a creeping plant which flowers endlessly in the summer. Dr. Edward Bach used it for one of his flower remedies for 'spacey children' not paying attention, and those out of sync with life. That would be me now. I will post pictures of my flowers next time. Today I am just taking it easy.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Evaluating the change

It is the beginning of a new month. Things are a little brighter. I guess that I am getting used to the running up and down or perhaps it is just better because I have today off and I can consider the past weeks a success.
My hubby has transitioned into rehab care in quite a lovely facility. Everyone is older. The rehab is part of a seniors home. When you are already a senior, the residents are your peers. If you are 20 and with a 35 year old, the differences are so marked. At 68 and 85, the difference is less marked. Therefore, you can see yourself in decline rather than recovering. It is important to not get caught up in seeing yourself in this vision of aged and debilitated. It impedes recovery.
Last night I saw an elderly man freewheeling himself,( pushing himself with his feet in a wheel chair) hugging two teddy bears to his chest. He asked me if I was lost. I was. I got off on the wrong floor. I could eventually right myself. He never will.
There has been a lot of time for reflection, not in the way I am used to but in a life altering way. I wasn't ready for that a month ago. Now I am.